Think of the last time something coincidental surprised you.

Now, imagine that coincidence not surprising you any more than an exhale following an inhale.

What would you replace surprise with? What might enter in its place?

This week, Myka Hansen, Founder and CEO of Teen Forward is sharing some interesting reframes that allow you to enjoy life as it happens.Myka Hansen, Teen Forward and Dream Tending Specialist

A few years ago, my friend Kelly and I were sitting on the porch of our Airbnb discussing a reading for our Dream Tending coursework.

(If you’re curious about Dream Tending, find me here.)

We were discussing synchronicities, coincidences, whatever you want to call them, and how surprised humans are when synchronicities happen. I began to wonder: what would happen if we weren’t so surprised? What if we, instead, were intentionally not surprised? I shared this idea with Kelly, and she added to the non-surprise by suggesting that, going forward, we acknowledge the coincidence as “right on time.” As in, of course, it happened. In fact, nothing else could have.

This single action, perspective shift, has changed how I live my life and how I run my business.

When we are surprised by something, the feeling of surprise often captures our full attention. Whatever we are surprised about, oddly enough, takes a back seat.

For example, let’s say my husband and I get promotions on the same day. We come home and we tell each other our mutual good news. What gets our initial attention? The fact that we were synchronistically promoted on the same day. Not the promotions themselves. So, not only are we focusing on surprise instead of more primary emotions wanting to come forward, we are focusing on an inauthentic sense of wonder. Were we truly surprised at being promoted? Likely not. And, when we forego surprise, we open ourselves up to potentially an entirely new set of feelings and noticings.

Perhaps more importantly, foregoing surprise honors the aspects of the coincidence in their reality. It provides an opportunity to feel everything that had to happen to make that particular moment come together. How beautiful to not be surprised by mutual promotions, for example. How beautiful to honor their reality and fullness as fully intentional happenings.

Does this mean that we can’t find things amazing? That we can’t be awestruck by something? Absolutely not.

Amazement and surprise are not synonyms. I am amazed that I’m a business owner; I’m not surprised. I’m sometimes awestruck by the sense of synchronicity between clients’ dreams, but I’m not surprised. Removing the emotion of surprise can actually amp up our feelings of awe and wonder.

Watch how you live and work over the next week and see how you respond to surprising things. If you’re a “wow, what were the odds of that happening?” type of person, try saying to yourself, “The odds were 100%; it happened.” If you hear someone say, “I just can’t believe it!” Try saying in return, “I can; it’s right on time.”

See what happens. And, after you’ve done some observing, please come back and let me know what you discovered in the comments. I can’t wait to see what you uncover!

This blog post was written by Myka Hansen, founder and CEO of Teen Forward, and Member of the District Bliss Community.

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